I get to be the first person ever to preview the new MLS iteration of Minnesota United FC! Such a momentous moment. (Is that a redundant sentence? That felt redundant.) I’m sure this review will be a historic document for MLS archivists and Minnesota football historians in another 50 years. My name will be forever remembered. I mean, if the machines don’t rise up and enslave us or the nuclear apocalypse doesn’t render all of this quaint and pointless. Either/or.
Minnesota is so very hard to pin down; in the words of Donald Rumsfield, “there are known unknowns.