Think about it. In another universe, you might not even know it, but you’re about to endure a 17-inning disaster of a game if Tyler Naquin doesn’t pull a ball at his ankles and hit it into right field. In that game, several relievers throw 30+ pitches, the offense strikes out half a dozen more times, and the woo birds howl uncontrollably as the calendar rolls to May 4. You crave sleep, or death, but neither come. You accept your fate.
Luckily you exist in this reality, and Leonys Martin crossed the plate to end the game in the ninth, instead.