EARTH — Calendar season Spring announced on Saturday that it will not join MLB players in pre-season camp this year.
Insisting that no contract dispute or injury dictated the decision to skip Cactus and Grapefruit League assignments, Spring stated that it simply does not need its titular Training.
“I’m in the best shape of my existence,” the 4.5 billion-year-old meteorological phenomenon said during a press conference. “I don’t need it. Go look at my numbers from fall ball in the southern hemisphere if you don’t believe me.”
Opinions about the season’s decision varied around the league.