I would love to sit here and tell you that Tanner Bibee has been called up and will be the starting pitcher for the Cleveland Guardians today, but they’re being weird about it, so I can only say: It is believed that Tanner Bibee is going to be called up by the Guardians today. Maybe by the time you read this, it has been professed more officially and you can jump into the comments and talk about how you never even read the articles anyways!
Either way, that paragraph was a more enjoyable way to start this than beginning with yesterday’s game would have been.