Dear David,
I hope this letter finds you well. After seeing your comments during the movie Believeland this past Saturday night, I felt it was necessary to pen this letter to show just how out of touch you truly are with the entire situation.
See David, the Cleveland Browns in fact did move. After the 1994 season your adopted father, Art Modell, was losing his grip on the franchise and spinning into a whirlwind of debt. He was upset and scorned that the city of Cleveland rewarded the Cleveland Indians and Cleveland Cavaliers with new venues in the heart of downtown Cleveland, and left him with dark and dreary Municipal Stadium by the lake.