Rest assured, Joey Votto is a svelte dinger-smasher of a baseball player, the quintessential human to occupy new-age slim-fit uniforms. He’s in shape, and good shape at that. The man meticulously prepares for everything he does in the game, and is as ready as they come when tasked with making opposing pitchers look just plain stupid.
The man also has one of the wittiest senses of humor I’ve seen in my years of watching baseball, which makes the quote he gave The Enquirer’s Zach Buchanan upon reporting to spring training in Arizona that much more hilarious to read.