As a person without children but who grew up watching 80’s sitcoms, I am something of a parenting expert. Life should consist of pastel decor mixmatched with neon shorts, snappy comebacks, and a great deal of stereotypical behavior.
While I was absorbing this vital information, I was also playing SAY soccer, and I was terrible. In twelve consecutive years on the field, I scored exactly two goals, one of which was actually for my team. My parents were at nearly every game, and you know what they said to me as I ran back and forth, terribly?