We pray that death will be painless, but those of us who know better gave up praying long ago.
i have this disease sometimes late at night involving alcohol and the internet. I get drunk, and I drive my wife away with a breath like mustard gas and roses. And then, speaking gravely and elegantly into the laptop microphone, I ask the internet operators to connect me with this friend or that one, from whom I have not heard in years.*
This, I can only imagine, is also how it came to pass that Walt Jocketty got Jason Marquis to throw major-league baseballs for the Reds in 2015.