As Carl Sagan once said, a still more glorious dawn awaits. Not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise, a morning filled with 400 billion suns.
As I once said, the names of all major college football players are secretly abbreviations for all kids of esoteric knowledge.
Here is the all-time, all-acronym, all-American college football team—the most significant pieces of secret knowledge that arise from the names of recent college football greats.
Does
Really
Excellent
Work
Like
Our Hero
Best
Ever
Non
Never
Eats
Lasagna
Leftovers
A
J
Dillon
Is
Living
Large
On
Defenders
Are
Very
Intimidated by
David
Sills
In
Lubbock
Lawrence and
Stillwater
Precisely
Everyone
Not
Named
Has
Astonishing
Respect for
This Guy
Noah
Owns
Above Average
Hands
Also
Notes
This
Does
America
Love
Tackles?