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Dear Stupid (and you know who you are, MLB), here’s your solution to brawls

Dear Stupid (and you know who you are, Bryce Harper, Hunter Strickland and MLB),

Because I'm a pleaser, not a teaser, Stevie Sunshine is here to solve one of your problems.

For starters, let’s establish that Harper is an idiot. For several reasons, the perennial MVP candidate is an idiot.

First, in charging the mound Monday to exact some silly pugilistic revenge on Giants pitcher Hunter Strickland for getting drilled, Harper undoubtedly was going to cost his team because he was going to be suspended, and the Nationals already are hamstrung with Dusty Baker managing.