By choosing nicknames as bland as their play on the field, the Chicago White Sox plan to celebrate Players’ Weekend with a paper cup of lukewarm water, soda crackers, a game of jacks in the dugout and optional postgame karaoke

I hate to break it to you, but the Chicago White Sox have taken a step back this year.

Wait, wait, that’s not any sort of breaking news. Obviously they’ve taken a step back. It’s “by design.”

Well, there’s another step back coming in August, and it’s an unfortunate one indeed.

Gone El Puchi and Big Pelf, arriving are DP and Bulldog. Sayonara to Dutch and El Chamaquito, howdy to Rey and Danish.

If the team has to lead the league in losses (OK, not quite lead, but lemme have this one), it can at least likewise lead in spunk, spirit, spark or sass.