I know what you’re thinking: What in the fresh hell is this? Some sort of bizarre player ranking, according to looks? Not at all! We’ve simply created a system to determine the outright beefiness of our current and former Sox players.
What is a beefcake, you ask? It is many things. Sure, it could be that the player is a handsome devil. But it could also be about swagger. It could be about biceps. It could be about the ability to crush a monster dong in the bottom of the 9th.
That’s what makes these players so special.