After Thursday’s dramatic walk-off win, the Cubs capped off the day by obtaining the contract of the only Cubs player I’ve ever seen throw a no-hitter. Cole Hamels! So I welcome Cole the only way I know how, with a parody of Camilla Cabello’s hit “Havana.” (lyrics printed below the video)
Cole Hamels ooh na-na
Cubs starting pitching is in shambles
ooh-na-na
So Theo went and took a gamble
na-na-na
A 92 mile per hour fastball
He just sat at home last fall
Cole Hamels ooh na-na
Theo needed help for the Cubs rotation
(He went and made a move)
Gave Texas relief for his compensation
(And minor leaguers too)
There’s no guarantee we’ll get back Darvish
(The Cubs can’t count on Yu)
And Chatwood’s control has been hot garbage
He never throws a strike
Ooo-ooh-ooh, No hit us with the Phillies
Now he’s pitching to Willy
Almost 35
Ooo-ooh-ooh, His sliders pretty filthy
Now he’s a Cub!