CHC (1-4): RHP Yu Darvish (0-1)
ATL (2-3): LHP Max Fried (0-0)
First pitch 6:20pmCST
The first two games of my tenure as gameday poster haven't gone well. So, in lieu of writing the post myself, I forced a bot to watch what has felt like 1000 hours of Cubs' baseball and script out a game. Here's a sample:
EXT. BASEBALL FIELD
We see FRIENDLY BASEBALL PLAYERS. They are wearing PAJAMAS FOR MUSCULAR MEN. Their hats do not protect their EARS from SKIN CANCER.
An EVIL PLAYER holding an OBLONG PIECE OF WOOD and wearing a HEADSHELL walks to home plate.