WELCOME to today’s episode of Cub Tracks news and notes™, a greatest-hits collection of Chicago-style beat writers and bloggers, ground from #Cubs, #MiLB, and #MLB baseball, overheated, steeped in writers’ tears, and then cold-brewed overnight for maximum flavor. No artificial intelligences were deployed, employed, entranced, or embalmed in the commission of this manuscript. Cub Tracks eagerly awaits the advent of robotic umpires and have already amended the three laws.