This is going to be the most untraditional game recap you have likely ever read on this site.
Seriously, you don’t really need me to review the carnage of the Cubs’ 9-0 loss to the Cardinals, do you? This was a completely predictable result given the spring training split squad style lineup and the pitching staff also resembling something you’d see a Cubs squad send out to Goodyear in March because the regular rotation guys didn’t want the 45-mile bus ride.
The Cubs had just three hits on the afternoon: First, a single that Willson Contreras tried to stretch into a double and was thrown out, though replays showed he might have been safe.