"I just felt like it was the right time to speak. I'd carried the burden of not speaking for nine years."
Anton Ferdinand was scared. Bullets in the post, missiles thrown at his mum's house, fears for his career as a footballer.
But he is no longer scared.
In Anton Ferdinand: Football, Racism And Me - a new film airing on BBC One on Monday, 30 November - the retired footballer looks at the repercussions of being at the centre of a Premier League racism storm almost a decade ago.
It ended with the Football Association finding John Terry guilty of using racially abusive language towards Ferdinand during a match.