Whether he wanted to admit it, the fear of never playing again was real.
Extensive neck surgery can do that to an athlete.
But what Ladislav Smid agonized over far more than the possibility of losing his livelihood was the inability to hold his young children.
Two weeks after a high hit from then-Pittsburgh Penguins blueliner Simon Despres sidelined Smid with concussion-like symptoms, wife Ashley gave birth to twins Ladislav and Zoey last Christmas Eve.
However, medical complications kept the twins in the neonatal intensive care unit for nearly a month, and when that precious day came to bring them home for the first time, Smid was immobile following his neck surgery.