As public outcry swelled, Trump announced over the weekend that he would postpone immigration raids and mass deportations, reversing a reckless plan devised a week earlier by a thoughtless fellow by the name of — let’s see here — Donald J. Trump.
Last week, Trump declared that 10 minutes before a planned strike on Iran, “I stopped it” because it was “not proportionate” to Tehran’s downing of an unmanned U.S. drone. Thus did the coolheaded Trump overrule a rash escalation ordered previously by a warmonger named — I’ve got it here somewhere — Donald J. Trump. “We were cocked & loaded to retaliate last night on 3 different sights” he said (presumably meaning “locked” not “cocked,” and “sites” not “sights”).