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Red Sox 1, Padres 11: A Modest Proposal to Abolish the Fifth Inning

Related Topics: Boston Red Sox, Tanner Houck

Ok Theo, it’s time to earn those ownership dividends. The Red Sox need the MLB Commissioner’s office to implement a new rule change: no more fifth innings. From now on we’ll just jump right from the fourth to the sixth, thereby evading these horrifying half-innings that have doomed the Red Sox pitching staff for the past two nights.

I know what you’re thinking: Baseball’s been played with a fifth inning for 150 years! We can’t throw out all that tradition!

I hear you and I love tradition, too. But just think about it for a minute: has anything cool ever happened in the fifth inning?