BOSTON -- Five weeks since it began, this offseason has been brought to Boston Red Sox fans everywhere by Debbie Downer.
Shohei Ohtani is coming to the United States! But the Babe Ruth of Japan isn't interested in beginning his major league career with the team that gave the actual Babe Ruth his start.
Wah-wah.
Under the ownership of Derek Jeter, the Miami Marlins are ready to trade Giancarlo Stanton! But baseball's preeminent slugger prefers to play on the West Coast and therefore is unlikely to approve a deal to Boston.