MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred, in his tiredless and thankless crusade to make watching professional baseball as enjoyable as possible for fans of all ages, has identified another reason why the length of games have been steadily increasing over recent decades: the bat boys and bat girls are too fucking slow.
Well, Manfred is putting the brakes on that gravy train. He's going to make these teenagers being paid minimum wage (of course) perform like disposable Amazon employees with full bladders, who are regularly forced to work at an inhumane pace or be fired on the spot.