Thinking too much about the slow, painstaking decline of our nation’s once-great institutions is a surefire way to ruin your evening, so instead of doing that, I’m going to laser in on one I’m sure we can fix: the Slam Dunk Contest. And by signing up for the 2024 edition, the Celtics’ very own Jaylen Brown is here to save us.
If an alien landed in the parking lot of your local YMCA and started asking around about this “NBA Slam Dunk Contest,” what would you tell them about it? While maintaining an appropriate level of interplanetary respect, here’s what I’d say:
The “NBA Slam Dunk Contest” is when the league’s highest-flying and most aerially-artistic rim destroyers would throw down in an epic contest to push the limits of mankind’s primal desire to dunk a basketball.