Before we go any further, Boston Celtics fans, let’s all just take a deep breath.
Ok now that we’ve collected ourselves, let’s calmly and rationally reckon with the fact that the Celtics just lost both home games and are now down 2-0 to the Miami Heat, putting them in a box so tight that they might literally have to become Hardwood Houdinis to escape it.
What can I say? I’m a company man. *winks at camera*
Anyway, it’s undeniable that this is a confounding, infuriating, and unspeakably dire situation. I understand if you just want to crawl into a corner and cry, and for about 500 words you’re going to think that’s all I want to do too.