***Discalimer/Trigger Warning***
This is purely a satirical piece. It is not intended to be offensive, but to bring some comic relief to a fanbase that has been hit with disheartening news this week. If you lack a sense of humor, DO NOT READ!
The proof is ubiquitous. The Baltimore Ravens sold their soul in exchange for Super Bowl glory five seasons ago. It wasn’t a bad decision either, winning is everything.
They had to do something. Bill Belichick, a longtime beneficiary from evil magic, summoned his personal witch doctor (the same employee who takes game balls with him into the bathroom stall in order to ensure proper deflation and cuts the sleeves off the hoodies) to put a last minute curse on Lee Evans and Billy Cundiff in the 2011 AFC Championship game.