It’s a little early for a Halloween tale, but the Ravens are experiencing a recurring nightmare.
They keep getting grabbed by “The .500 Monster,” a big, hairy, long-armed thing with flaring nostrils that repeatedly chants the famous Bill Parcells line, “You are what your record says you are; you are what your record says you are,” while clutching you tenaciously and refusing to let go.
The Ravens are definitely caught in its grip. They were a .500 team a year ago. They’re a .500 team again this year after losing to the Chicago Bears Sunday.
If they had won Sunday, it would have upped their record since Super Bowl 47 to … wait for it … 35 wins and 35 defeats.