When the Orioles took the field this afternoon, it felt like an eternity since they’d actually played a game. I barely recognized the sport. What even is “Base Ball”? What is this spinning white orb bestitched in red? And is this some kind of dried cow-skin worn on your hands? How unusual!
Have I made my point yet? If not, I’ve got plenty more of these.
Unfortunately, the return to action wasn’t worth the wait for the Orioles, who were torched for four more homers in a 5-3 loss to the Yankees to open a doubleheader.