Alternate title: Andrew Cashner and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
Behind arguably the worst starting pitching performance in franchise history, the O’s were destroyed by the Texas Rangers in the opener of their four-game set, 17-8.
Hey, at least it wasn’t 30-3!
Let’s all just take a step back and take in the sheer horribleness of Andrew Cashner’s performance today. To call it a dumpster fire would be an insult to dumpster fires. “Don’t bring me into THIS debacle!” the inferno-ridden dumpster would insist.
I’m going to recite Cashner’s box score line, but I warn you, please don’t stare directly at it.