The Auburn Tigers play the Idaho Vandals on Saturday in a game of football. I provide cat human thoughts.
Greetings, humans.
This is not the human you were expecting.
You will all know my name eventually, but until that glorious day, my name is Mittenz, and I am the cat that lives under the porch of the human you call Bobby (dog noise)ley. I do not say the first part of his last name because it is offensive and I am a pawlitically correct feline.
Where is Bobby (dog noise)ley, you ask, testy human? It appears that earlier this human week, he left this message on what you call Twitter:
— Mittenz the cat (@bobby_barkley) November 16, 2015
You will notice that it is my picture and not Bobby's at the top of this tweet, but rest assured, this was the last message he left on his black rectangular talking machine before he ran crying hysterically into his room and left it on the front porch where I found it.