Woah boy, did Auburn beat the stink off of Purdue. At some point it stopped being a football game and started becoming pure catharsis. Auburn was purifying itself from the disappointment of months of lackluster offense. Purdue was just in the way like a Japanese fishing boat during the Castle Bravo test. They were collateral damage.
What this game allows me to do is provide a service to you my dear fans. I’m gonna rate these NINE touchdowns for you, to help you better appreciate them for their unique charms.
I will be rating them using a 1-5 BOOM scale with 5 BOOMS being the highest.