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An Abridged Hater’s Guide to Philadelphia Union

As always minimal effort has been put into this. There has been little research, next to zero editing and there’s a legitimate chance that you won’t find any of this entertaining in any way. As a commenter once eloquently stated even after reading a disclaimer about how dumb and irrevocably pointless this article would be…

“This is a waste of time. Nothing here folks.”

Prologue

OK, I’m going to be real here. This thing is going to be more crap than usual. I didn’t really have the time, nor did I really want to waste the effort (or 2,000 words) on Philadelphia, a town most famous for being mentioned in the beginning of the theme song to a beloved 90’s sitcom about someone who leaves Philadelphia because it’s such a garbage city.