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The Wild Card: "The Diamondbacks think they're people!"

How dare they inquire about good players that every other team would be interested in! The nerve!

(The following is a dramatization of my twitter feed when someone reports that the Diamondbacks might be interested in a good player. Not on the verge of acquiring, interested.)

"Did you hear, Bernard?"

"No, I did not Reginald, what comes in the news today?"

"On the Twittering Device, of all the news!"

"Do not keep me in suspense, dear boy!"

"The Diamondbacks -"

"- Oh don't say that name so suddenly, my good man."

"Right right, sorry old chap.