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Diamondbacks 9, Padres 5: Snakes strike swiftly

Record: 68-93. Pace: 68-94. Change on 2015: -10.

Things that happened before a single Diamondbacks’ hitter was retired tonight.

  • Free tacos, with blah-blah-blah...
  • Five runs
  • Four stolen bases
  • Three hits
  • A free jumbo-jack
  • Jean Segura’s 100th run of the year
  • Yasmany Tomas’s 31st home-run
  • A 90.7% chance of 50% off Papa John’s tomorrow.

Yep, it may be the penultimate game of a very disappointing season, but you would not have known it, based on the way Arizona came storming out of the gate tonight.