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D’backs 4, Dodgers 3: Dodging Defeat

Tonight’s contest meant relatively nothing for the Arizona Diamondbacks other than final record and draft position, but it was critically important to the postseason chances of both the Los Angeles Dodgers and Colorado Rockies. For that reason, it was a must win to prevent the Dodgers from playing baseball in October and send their troll fans to bed in tears instead of blowing up my Twitter mentions at 1:00 A.M. because they have no lives, and I absolutely love run-on sentences when I have the opportunity to insult those crybabies. You mad?

Matt Koch took the hill for his 14th start on the MLB season and was solid yet unspectacular at the same time, as he has been for much of the year.