Rob Manfred has been commissioner for four years, but it somehow feels like a lot longer. Maybe it’s because the pace of his play has seemed so slow. Let’s find a way to speed that up, shall we? Let’s first give him an IV of espresso so that he’s full of energy. If that isn’t enough, we’ll make him inhale helium so that his voice is high and possibly faster. That’s fun!
If that isn’t enough, we’ll upload Rob Manfred’s consciousness onto a supercomputer, so that his tenure as commissioner can be processed at speed that are hard to comprehend.