One of Auburn’s fabled Toomer’s Oaks says it would rather die than continue to be covered in toilet paper for no good reason.
It appears Auburn will have to once again replace one of their beloved trees. The search for a new tree will be extensive with most experts saying they will probably need to look at up to four backyards before they find a suitable replacement.
“I really liked that tree in Jerry’s backyard, but it’s got some baby birds in it” said the head of the Auburn tree search committee.
Horticulturists were stumped (PUN INTENDED) as to why one of Auburn’s famed arboreal mascots would be dying, until they found the note…
READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED, YOUNG CHILDREN AND SAPLINGS MAY FIND THE FOLLOWING DISTURBING.