Matt Mitchell is the creator of The Ostrich, Walker County's least trusted news source, and was the 3rd round draft pick of the Denver Nuggets. This is a work of satire.
Larry Culpepper, the former concession vendor and self-proclaimed inventor of the College Football Playoff, is getting a second chance courtesy of Nick Saban.
Typically reserved for coaching staff, Saban's wildly successful coaching rehabilitation program is making an exception for the recently unemployed Culpepper. According to sources close to the program, Culpepper will serve as the Crimson Tide's assistant hydration consultant and share a room with intern analyst Butch Jones.