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Auburn Hires Gunnery Sgt. to Help Chip Lindsey Beat Bama

Since the planets won’t align for another 18 years and Gus Malzahn spent his last Hail Mary prayer on a Grand Slam breakfast platter at the Waffle House, Auburn is resorting to drastic measures with their new OC Chip Lindsey in order to beat Alabama.

This latest desperate effort by Auburn includes enlisting the help of famed Gunnery Sgt. Hartman to whip their new Offensive Coordinator into shape. We caught up with the pair during a morning exercise in an exclusive Bama Hammer inside look.

GUNNY: WHAT’S YOUR NAME BUTTER HUFFER?!

CHIP: Sir my name is Ch-

Jan 21, 2017; Auburn, AL, USA; New Auburn Tigers offensive coordinator Chip Lindsey is introduced to the media following the basketball game against the Alabama Crimson Tide at Auburn Arena. Mandatory Credit: John Reed-USA TODAY Sports

GUNNY: HOLY SHIT I BET WHEN YOU OPEN THE CAR DOOR IT LOOKS LIKE A CAN OF BISCUITS EXPLODING.