Baseball generally frowns upon the idea of the cheerleader, and even when they smile on the idea, the cheerleaders are normally sub-par and or men. Football has it's problems, mainly HGH, which is coincidentally the only way a 6'4 250 man can run a 4.4, and paradoxically the reason most people watch. (Jumps off soap box) Football has cheerleaders down. Pop 6-8 dancers on the field in no more than 12 square inches of fabric combined and you can make most men happy. The other 4-6 percent, depending on your study, will enjoy the men in tight pants wrestling each other to the ground.
I thought, for the sake of comparison, we would take a look at cheerleaders in both sports. Through exhaustive research I did find a few major league teams that have what amounts to cheerleading squads. Unfortunately they pale in comparison to the talent at a single Tampa Bay Buccaneer cheerleader tryout.
Here are the St. Louis Cardinals' Team FreeBirds. If you don't believe they exist, you can look here for verification.
Team Fredbird
Don't they look way too clothed to be cheerleaders? Is that sexist? It has to be, but this is like throwing a doggie sweater on the beautiful coat of a Bengal tiger. Why hide natures's bounty? Do you think these beautiful ladies kill themselves in the gym 6 days a week to throw on a baggy baseball jersey when they go out in public? Personally I think it's sexist that they're not scantily clad. Now let's see those Bucs dancer wannabees:
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Why can't those lovely ladies be at a baseball game you ask? Maybe in between innings so as not to distract from the timeless gentleman's game that is our national past time? I'm not sure about that, but I am sure that another South Florida team, your fighting Marlins, has their answer to the Bucs hotness. They're called the Manatees, and as the name implies, they're rotund, lethargic creatures that would do significant damage to a boat if struck by the boat's propeller.
What they lack in attractiveness they make up for in hilariousness I suppose. For their part, the Marlins don't stop with a fat, hilarious dance team, they do attempt to throw some cleavage on the field, for the kids.
Maybe there is some hope yet for baseball fans...
...but probably only in South Florida. While the Marlins Mermaid's can probably hold a candle to any NFL dance team, the sheer volume of NFL dancers overcome anything baseball can throw out. Nice work NFL, you not only have the ratings, you have more access to hot chicks.
More to come on out Tigs. (See what happens when they have a day off)
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