One Last Trip Down Memory Lane: The 2010-2011 Miami Heat.

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On Sunday, the Celtics and Heat will square off in the start of what I hope will be a long, hard-fought series that we can all talk about for years to come.  Along with the excitement and anticipation of this matchup comes the sinking realization that the time for all of us to finally take the Heat seriously has probably arrived.  They've provided us with enough entertainment, both on and off the court, to last several decades.  But now, there they stand with the third best record in the NBA, a huge obstacle that the Celtics must clear if they are to return to the Finals for the third time in four years.  Obviously the tone in which we talk about the Heat will have to change if the Celtics fall in this series.  But, even if the Cs do win, things won't be the same.  When the offseason comes, Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, and LeBron James will just be three guys who play on the same team.  The novelty will have worn off.

 

That doesn't mean we didn't have fun while it lasted.  So, before we close the door on this thing, I want to take one last stroll down memory lane.  Here is your tribute to the 2010-2011 Miami Heat:

[caption id="attachment_270" align="aligncenter" width="650" caption="The Tonedeaf Manner in Which LeBron James Went About Announcing His Free Agency Decision to the World is Stupefying. (Larry Busacca/Getty Images) "][/caption]

JULY 8, 2010 - THE DECISION

I think it's fair to say that this thing went off without a hitch, just like LeBron James's entourage told him it would.  It seems pretty obvious that if you're going to make a decision that is going to really upset a lot of people, the best way to go about it is to keep everyone in the dark right up until the last minute, and then deliver the news on live television so that the crushing blow of disappointment and rejection hits them like a ton of bricks, rendering them unconscious.

Seriously though, I don't even know where to start.  I didn't think it was possible for me to lose any more respect for ESPN, but they really outdid themselves with this one.  This felt more like the Real Housewives of Orange County than a venture in sports news coverage.  LeBron's handpicked host, Jim Gray, making smalltalk with him throughout and totally allowing LeBron to dictate the ebb and flow of the special to remain in his comfort zone was laughable.  At the end of the day, ESPN made out like bandits.  This was the largest viewing audience they've ever had for a non-sporting event, and so it's hard to fault them from a business standpoint.  But, this was just another example of how with each passing day they conduct themselves more like an overblown, entertainment-centered hype machine than a credible sports news outlet.

The people at ESPN and the Boys and Girls Club (the only positive aspect of this whole ordeal) were the only ones who benefitted from the Decision.  LeBron James, on the other hand, really missed the mark with most viewers.  The special left fans scratching their heads, and wondering what type of advice the King was getting from the people around him.  Aside from being misguided conceptually, it was clear that the whole thing was thrown together somewhat haphazardly.  LeBron had clearly not been adequately prepared to speak, even with the softballs that Gray was lobbing him.  This was perhaps most evident when James botched the easiest and most crucial question of the night.  The question from Gray was, "how do you explain your decision to Cleveland?".

Here's how LeBron began his response:

"I mean, it's heartfelt for me. You know, it's hard to explain, but at the same time my heart, in the seven years I gave to that franchise, to that city, it was everything."

The seven years that he gave to the franchise.  Not the other way around.  Later on he'd say "I've done so many great things for that franchise".  Never once did he thank the Cleveland fans directly.  Never once did he say he was grateful to the Cavaliers and their fans.  There were hints at those sentiments, but he never tied those thoughts up neatly enough to fully convey them.  An expression of gratitude would have gone a long way in my opinion.  Again, I believe the attempt was there, but there was a clear lack of preparation.

LeBron doesn't have to apologize to anyone, and the Cavs certainly needed him more than he needed them.  But, you don't do a television special like this unless you're trying to capitalize on your celebrity status.  If you're not properly prepared, this can backfire, and it did.  Those of us who aren't Cavaliers fans weren't upset by LeBron's choice of team.  However, his TV special left us all with a bad taste in our mouth.

 

 

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JULY 9, 2010 - THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP WELCOME TO MIAMI CELEBRATION

I would argue that, Cleveland fans excepted, it was this celebration in Miami and not the Decision that turned many fans against the Heat.  The indulgence of it, for starters, was extremely off putting.  No expenses were spared, it seemed.  The three stars were introduced on a mechanical lift.  The stage upon which they emerged was immersed in multi-colored spotlights, fog machines, and sparks flying from the ceiling.  This was one day after LeBron James had signed.  How are they ever going to top this someday when they win a title?

Beyond the special effects, there was an overall tone to the celebration that didn't sit well with me.  Mainly, it felt to me as if these three guys were celebrating a championship already.  You can argue that I was overly sensitive because I felt threatened as a fan of the reigning Eastern Conference champs, but I don't think so.  I really think their ceremony fit the mold of championship ceremony to a tee.

The theme of the evening was Yes. We. Did., which seemed like an odd choice before the group had actually DONE anything.  At this ceremony, they were given keys to the city, which is often reserved as a reward for great accomplishments.  Dwyane Wade called the Heat's big three "arguably the greatest trio every to play the game of basketball".  A bit premature for a group that was yet to play a single game together as members of the Miami Heat.  Finally, LeBron James told the fans that the Heat would win upwards of 7 championships despite the fact that he was (and is) still in search for his first.  On stage, Dwyane Wade said "it's going to be Hollywood down here."  That's exactly what it felt like to me as well.  Hollywood.  A staged celebration of championships that hadn't been won.  Flash to the highest degree, without any substance for validation.

The Heat have said many times since that this celebration was all about their fans.  It certainly didn't feel that way.  This felt like narcissism at its worst.

 

 

JULY 28, 2010 - THE ESPN LAS VEGAS SCANDAL

On July 28, ESPN's Arash Markazi published a story about his time spent partying with LeBron James in Las Vegas. Less then thirty minutes after the article was published, it vanished.  ESPN responded to various inquiries by saying that the article should never have been published, as it hadn't gone through the proper editing avenues.  Unfortunately for them, screen shots of the article survived, and you can now read it here in GoogleDoc form.

So, the big question on everyone's mind is why ESPN pulled the story.  There was nothing particularly incriminating or shocking about it.  This was a young millionare enjoying his success in Las Vegas in the way that most people probably wish they could.  There was a bathtub full of nude women covered in rose petals.  There was a man flying around on a chord delivering champagne (who James said he wished could have been one of the girls without panties on).  But, this is Las Vegas, and this is an NBA superstar.  Admittedly, for LeBron James, the timing was not great. As Dan Fogarty said, the article does portray him as a megalomaniac.  But, coming on the heels of the Decision and the Coronation in Miami, that's hardly noteworthy.  In fact, we would have been surprised to read differently.

Furthermore, given how hungry the public was to consume more fuel for their anti-LeBron fire, the article probably would have been widely consumed and discussed by sports fans eager to get as much mileage as they could out of NBA free agency.  For ESPN, that's a good thing.  So, we're left to deduce that the article was pulled to benefit James.  This seems like a curious move from a network that was already having it's credibility called in to question in the wake of the Decision, which left people making accusations that ESPN soiled its reputation by becoming LeBron James's personal propaganda vehicle.

In reading the article, I couldn't help laughing hysterically at the casual mention of Glen Davis as a passerby to the whole scene:

"Toward the end of the night, Boston Celtics forward Glen Davis walks past James' party and looks at the scene up and down several times like a painting in a museum, soaking in the images of the go-go dancers, the "King" sign and the costumed man delivering bottles of champagne.

Davis shakes his head and walks on."

In my mind, Glen Davis is wearing sweatpants as this happens.  I can't be convinced otherwise.

 

 

OCTOBER 18, 2010- FAN UP, MIAMI! CAMPAIGN BEGINS

Knowing full well that Miami sports fans are, well, not the most dedicated, the Heat spent the offseason making a series of saavy moves to land themselves a trio of bonafide superstars.  This ensured that the Heat would be the most explosive and exciting team to watch in the entire NBA.

Then, after doing that, the Heat front office remembered that their team had won a title just several years earlier with Dwyane Wade and Shaquille O'Neal, and the fans still seemed pretty flaky.  So, in an attempt to better educate their city about how most sports fans behave, the Heat launched their Fan Up, Miami! campaign on October 18th, a preseason game against the Bobcats.

As you can see above, the big aim of this campaign was to provide Heat fans with some general guidelines for sports fandom.  Trying your best to leave Happy Hour early so you can arrive to games on time.  Staying in the arena until the game ends, even if it's not too inconvenient.  Getting to games early to get goodies.  Wait, I'm pretty sure other arenas don't do that one.  But, whatever works I suppose.

The best part of the pamphlet is the line that reads "It's time to show that HEAT fans do deserve this team, and this opportunity."

Mission not accomplished.  Late arrival was an issue for Miami throughout most of the regular season.  What a joke.  A pretty hilarious one.

 

 

OCTOBER 25, 2010 - WHAT SHOULD I DO?

The day before the Heat opened up their regular season, the new LeBron James Nike ad was released, and received a pretty positive response overall.  The ad was extremely interesting visually, and featured James meeting all of his controversy head on.  Perhaps the most powerful scene in the entire ad is the scene of LeBron driving through Cleveland and watching his famous "We Are All Witnesses" banner fall through the window of his SUV.  Other highlights include an empty room at a hall of fame ceremony, a reference to the famous Charles Barkley's I am Not a Role Model Ad, and a cameo by Don Johnson.

The next night, the Heat would lose their first game to the Boston Celtics in the TD Garden.  Although Miami made a run to make the game close in the fourth quarter, the Celtics appeared in control from start to finish.  When Rajon Rondo was asked after the game who the team to beat in the East was, he said "I think we are."

Of course, there were many spoofs and mashups of LeBron's commercial.  Here are a few of my favorites:

Cleveland's Response: The good people of Cleveland let LeBron know what they think he should do.  Pretty well done.  Perhaps the most hard-hitting part comes in response to James's question "should I remind you that I've done this before?"  Clevelanders let him know: "Yeah, we know, Boston - Game 5, we watched - you quit."

South Park Spoof: South Park's version of the commercial, featuring the head of the fictional "DP" oil company.

The Mashup with Michael Jordan's Commercial: This is my favorite by far.  This Jordan commercial used to give me chills when it was originally released, so I'll take any excuse to watch it.  In the context of the time when it was released (right around Thanksgiving, as the Heat were struggling mightily), this seemed to perfectly sum up how NBA fans like me felt about LeBron and the Heat.

 

 

NOVEMBER 11, 2010 - RONDO MAKES A POSTER, CELTICS BEAT HEAT AGAIN.

Behind 35 points from Ray Allen and 16 assists from Rajon Rondo, the Celtics beat the Heat for the second time.  This win came in Miami at American Airlines Arena.  As had been the case with game 1, the final score made the game seem closer than it actually was.  This is something that would worry me going forward.

After the game Dwyane Wade had the following thought on the Heat's progress:

"We're the best 5-4 team in the league, how about that?"

Fair enough.  That's seems like a pretty solid achievement for arguably the greatest trio to ever play the game of basketball.

 

 

NOVEMBER 17, 2010 - CHRIS BOSH WANTS TO CHILL.

In terms of guys on the Heat doing awesome stuff, this is the point in the season where Chris Bosh really begins stepping up his game.  After going for 35 and 6 in a 27 point blowout win against the Phoenix Suns, which pushed the Heat to just one game over .500 for the month of November up to that point, Bosh had the following to say about Head Coach Erik Spoelstra:

"And he knows that he has to meet us halfway. He wants to work. We want to chill. But we’s going to have work to get everything down, and get our timing down, and get our chemistry down.”

In case you didn't catch the gist of that, Erik Spoelstra wants to work.  The Heat want to chill.  Spoelstra is going to have to meet them halfway in between what each side wants, those two sides being the working and the chilling.

Yeah, Miami.  I'm sure Pat Riley's just chomping at the bit to coach these guys.

Despite Bosh's absurd comments, it is worth noting that his performance against Phoenix was much needed, as his recent stretch of poor play had brought him under heavy media scrutiny.  The media's overreaction to this rough stretch of play was captured in poignant fashion by the guys over at The Basketball Jones (the world's finest basketball website), who released this viral video, Like a Bosh.  If you haven't seen it, please watch immediately.  It could change your life.

 

 

NOVEMBER 22, 2010 - HEAT LOSE BY 16 TO PACERS AT HOME AND PROVIDE SOME SOLID SOUNDBYTES.

November was a difficult month for the Heat, as they finished the month with a disappointing record of 7-7.  Perhaps no loss from November sticks out more in the memory of fans than their 16 point home loss to the Indiana Pacers.  This loss pushed their overall record for the season to 8-6, one game worse than they had been 14 games into the previous year.  Earlier that day, the Heat had learned that they were going to be without Udonis Haslem (who still has not returned) for quite some time.  Nursing a sprained left wrist, Dwyane Wade shot an abysmal 1-13 from the field in the loss.

But, all was not lost.  What really sticks out in my memory from this game were the quality soundbytes from some of the Heat stars:

LeBron James: "We're not having any fun right now." ...................You know, just in case anyone was wondering to themselves if the Heat were having fun.  They weren't.

Chris Bosh: "We knew it wasn't going to be an easy road" .....................Just pretty much stating what was already crystal clear for anyone who had seen the Heat's preseason celebration or heard Bosh say that he and his team want to chill more.

In case you're interested, here are the always meaningful and reliable grades given to the Heat players after games by the guys over at the Heat Index.

 

 

NOVEMBER 27, 2010 - THE BUMP.

During the third quarter of an 11 point loss in Dallas, LeBron James bumps into Erik Spoelstra as he heads to the bench during a timeout.

In my opinion, this was perhaps the most overblown story of the entire season.  Writers everywhere were quick to sensationalize it, painting LeBron as a diva who cannot accept any way but his own.  I feel extremely unsure of whether or not that reputation is one he's actually earned.  Certainly, I'd need much more evidence than what has already been presented.

The worst piece to come out of this whole incident (and, this should be no surprise) came from Adrian Wojnarowski.  In his piece, Wojnarowski makes the following assertion about LeBron James:

"The fundamental problem for Spoelstra isn’t that James doesn’t respect coaches – he doesn’t respect people. Give LeBron this, though: He’s learned to live one way with the television light on, and another with it off. He treats everyone like a servant, because that’s what the system taught him as a teenage prodigy. To James, the coach isn’t there to mold him into the team dynamic. He’s there to serve him."

Wow.  He doesn't respect people?  At all?  This seems a bit much.  Where's my ombudsman?  I need him to take a look at this.

UPDATE: My ombudsman has said the following about my take on "the Bump":

"So 'the bump' is the point in time where the national media mockery surpassed your own desire to mock them?"

Precisely.

 

 

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JANUARY 4, 2011 - MEET THE HEATLES

It's a long season, and the Heat rebounded from their November slump very nicely.  In fact, they went 17-1 between December 1st and January 4th.  And, despite what you might think from seeing the many empty seats during the first and fourth quarters of their home games, it turns out people actually really like to see these guys in person. In joking about the Heat's ability to even sell out games in Charlotte, LeBron James dubbed his team "The Heatles".

 

 

JANUARY 15, 2011 - CHRIS BOSH SPRAINS ANKLE - WOULD LIKE THE REST OF THE NBA TO STOP HUSTLING, PLEASE.

Chris Bosh suffered a sprained ankle, perhaps the most common of basketball injuries, in a hard fought 3 point loss to the Bulls in Chicago.  This was a discouraging night for the Heat.  It was their third loss in a row, it was their second game without LeBron James (also a sprained ankle), and it came at the hands of a team with whom they were competing for the top spot in the East.  That frustration and the pain of his ankle sprain may be what caused Chris Bosh to criticize Bulls rookie Omer Asik for his hustle play that resulted in Bosh's injury.

Here's the play, in case you haven't seen it.  Pretty standard.  Guys hitting the deck going after a loose ball.  Notice that Bosh drops a heavy F-Bomb as he's walking it off, and then slaps hands with Asik.  I vividly remember enjoying this sequence as I watched the game.  I loved the intensity each team was bringing, and I was glad to see Bosh acknowledge Asik's hustle and show him that there were no hard feelings.

So, I was pretty pissed when I read these comments from Bosh after the game:

"C'mon, that is how guys get hurt, that is how serious injuries happen. You've got to watch people's legs. I know guys want to hustle and everything but we all want to play and provide for our families and have a job.We all want to be healthy and that is very important. If it is by somebody's leg, don't dive for the ball, it's too close."

So, a couple things here.  First of all, I can't stand the "provide for our families" line.  Chris, as if it wasn't enough that you already make more in one season than most of us could ever hope to make in a lifetime, your contract is also guaranteed.  So, you're going to have plenty of money to provide for your family regardless of whether or not you get hurt because someone else is hustling more than you are.

Secondly, can we just take this excerpt in again:

"If it is by somebody's leg, don't dive for the ball."

Again, let's get Pat Riley on the phone and see if he wants to coach this guy.  So, what Bosh is essentially asking is for Omer Asik, a rookie who saw time in the Bulls rotation based on his hustle, to slow up and let Bosh pick up the ball?  In a game that ended with a point differential of 3?  Bosh is a uniquely skilled athlete.  He can be successful because of that athleticism.  If Asik wants to support his family by playing basketball, he has no choice but to hustle.

 

 

 

JANUARY 19, 2011 - LIL' WAYNE CALLS OUT THE HEAT FOR IGNORING HIM.

In a January, 2011 issue of Rolling Stone Magazine, rapper Lil' Wayne expressed displeasure with the fact that the LeBron James and Dwyane Wade never came to say hello to him while he sat courtside at a Hornets/Bulls game. Here's what he had to say:

"Them niggas never speak to a nigga," he says. "They don't chuck me the deuce or nothing. Nigga spent all that money on them fucking tickets ... Come holla at me. We sit right by them little bitch-ass niggas. At least come ask me why I'm not rooting for you."

Although he makes some fair points here, I have to disagree with Lil' Wayne mainly on the premise that if LeBron James and Dwyane Wade were going to take the time to say hi to everyone who sat near their bench, they'd probably get really distracted from the game.  If you also factor in the time it would take them to ask each opposing fan sitting near them why they weren't rooting for the Heat, I think it becomes logistically implausible.  But, I'm sure if they had known that his feelings were hurt, they probably would have made more of an effort to thank him for coming.

 

 

 

JANUARY 26, 2011 - CHRIS BOSH DOES RIDICULOUS MAXIM PHOTOSHOOT, SAYS HE LIKES TAKING COOL PICTURES, HILARITY ENSUES.

Chris Bosh fancies himself a pretty fashionable dude, so doing this photoshoot for Maxim Magazine came pretty naturally to him (as you can see from this video.  Really you haven't lived if you haven't seen this).  His favorite part of fashion, based on what I can gather from that video, is taking cool pictures.  He also likes to read (in case you were one of those people who was like "really, you like to read?!").  He also likes technology.

 

 

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FEBRUARY 13th, 2011 - CELTICS BEAT HEAT FOR A THIRD TIME.

This game was less convincing than the first two, but even more intense.  Between the exchange of hard screens by Big Z and KG and Rajon Rondo trying to sneak into the Heat's huddle, we got a nice taste of what an intense playoff series between these two teams would feel like.

 

 

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MARCH 6, 2011 - HEAT LOSE BY 1 TO BULLS, CAUSING THEM TO CRY.

This one point loss came at home, and was the fourth of five consecutive losses for the Heat.  So, it's safe to say that they were battling a stretch of adversity.  That situation got a whole lot worse when Erik Spoelstra decided it would be a good idea to tell the media in his press conference that there were a couple of guys on his team crying in the locker room.

I respect 'Spo.  I think he's got a pretty thankless job.  He takes a lot of heat (no pun intended) when the Heat aren't going well, and gets almost no credit when they are.  But, I can't wrap my head around this one.  He knows that the media is itching to get their hands on ANYTHING THEY CAN to ridicule this Heat team, particularly when they're in the midst of a losing streak.  Even if that weren't the case, I don't think a coach should reveal that type of information to the media.  During this season, with this team, it was a pretty colossal error in judgement.  He'd criticize the media a couple of days later for overanalyzing his comments and taking them out of context.  Welcome to professional sports.  And, having just rewatched the video, I don't feel they were taken out of context at all.

When Dwyane Wade hit the podium, he had the following whiny comment for the media:

"This is what everyone wanted. The world’s better now because the Heat are losing.”

I'd take the time to respond, but I've been writing for a while and I need to wrap this thing up soon.  So, instead I'll let Charles Barkley do the talking (video from TNT NBA Tip Off on March 10th).

One note on Chuck's rant:  I don't agree with him when he says that "nobody cares about the Miami Heat."  Obviously we do care.  Love them or hate them, you probably care if you watch the NBA.  I certainly wouldn't be writing this post if I didn't care.

But, Chuck's assertion that they brought most of this on themselves is dead on.

 

 

MARCH 11, 2011 - BELTS AND SCARVES.

This is by far my favorite Miami Heat moment of the season.  I can remember reading about it on The Basketball Jones and laughing for about five minutes.  It made my day.

Chris Bosh appeared in the "Style Issue" of ESPN the Magazine.  On March 11th, we got a preview of that issue online.  In describing his desire to keep up fashionwise with LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, Bosh had the following to say:

"They have great personal style, and they pay attention to detail. I am always looking at their belts and scarves. Every game is like a fashion show."

Belts and scarves, man.  That's really Chris Bosh in a nutshell.  And, I'd like to think that "every game is a fashion show" is really the Miami Heat in a nutshell.

This is pure gold.  You could lock me away for a week and give me the task of coming up with a funny quote for Bosh to say in this article.  Hell, you could give me a year.  There's no way I'd be able to top what he actually said.

 

 

MARCH 29, 2011 - HEAT LOSE IN CLEVELAND, LEBRON MISSES INTRODUCTIONS AND CLAIMS HE WAS IN THE CAN.

The Cavaliers gave their fans a home win against LeBron on this night.  That should have been the big story, you'd think.  But, no.  Instead, the big story coming out of this night was that LeBron James was not on the court when he was introduced at the start of the game.  After the game, LeBron claimed pretty nonchalantly that he was in the restroom during the time his name was called.  Another interesting twist to this saga is that LeBron was denied entrance to the Cavaliers underground parking garage on the morning of the game, because visiting players are only allowed to arrive in one car (LeBron showed up with two).

I'm not really sure what the whole story is here.  Maybe LeBron felt (probably rightly so) that Dan Gilbert and the Cavs were sticking it to him by not allowing his extra car into the arena, and that led him to not come out for introductions.  Maybe he just was upset by how vehemently the Cleveland fans had booed him last time and he didn't want to give them that chance again (although I find this unlikely since he seems to get booed pretty much everywhere).  Maybe he simply didn't come out as a way of sticking it to Dan Gilbert, with whom I feel he has a pretty legitimate gripe.

The one thing I do know is that there's no way he needed to be in the bathroom during the time he was introduced.  He may have been there, but it was purposeful.  He had been in the arena for hours.  I refuse to believe that he lacked the foresight or the bladder control to use the bathroom before or after the introductions.

There's more to this story obviously.  But, we'll probably never know what it is.

 

The Heat would finish off the season with a record of 58-24, two games better than the Celtics and good enough for the 2nd seed in the Eastern Conference.  Along the way, they finally got a win against Boston on April 10th.  It was convincing, and fueled largely by what can only be described as a superhuman defensive effort from Dwyane Wade (despite what these BS Head Index grades say about Wade's performance).

I've got nothing more to say about their season.  Feel free to add anything I missed into the comments.  For now, I feel cleansed.  For the time being, I'm done making fun of the Miami Heat.

Now, let's just throw it up already.

 

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